Finding My Happy

I thought I knew how to multi-task. Then I went to work in corporate America for one of the worst workaholics I've ever met. Now my life consists of extreme highs and lows, 60 hour work weeks, and not enough hands--or brain cells--to cross off everything on my to-do list. I don't know how to prioritize, or compartmentalize, all the requests people ask me, phone me, email me, ping me, and, in one random event, toss through the air on a paper plane at me (...not really, but how cool would that have been if it was true?)

I've always been a worrier, someone who causes more stress than need be but in the end tends to thrive and excel on it. However, lately my normal elevated stress levels have mutated into panic attacks: random bouts of tears, hyperventilating at the thought of to-do lists, etc. It's not every day. Not even every week...but it happens often enough that something has to change.

It sure isn't going to be work. When I mention how I'm trying to adjust to the new lifestyle and workload my manager just tends to chuckle and mention that I have another 20-30 more years of this. Today, he actually said the following while I was commenting on the bazillion and one things I had to get done before the weekend, "Good, I'm not doing my job right if you don't leave here as miserable as I am." What a way to view the world. And not exactly what I was expecting leaving college all dewy-eyed and optimistic.

So after a breakdown last night, I decided that I need to remember to breathe, and relax. It wouldn't be the end of the world if something wasn't done perfectly or if the work piled up. I returned to the office this morning, fresher and functioning more effectively than when I left the night before at 8:30pm, and found the aptly titled women's magazine article, "How to Feel Happy" when I opened my inbox.

I took it as a sign and decided that I would start doing one thing a day to increase my happiness. Today as the kick-start I ramped up the happy levels by trying several things:

1. I stopped to breathe, to remember that I was living human being...not a lab rat in a cubicle maze.

2. I plotted 20 ways to maim, disfigure, and otherwise torture my kickboxing instructor. While the exercise was good for me, the creative thinking was even better.

3. I left the TV off. Instead I skimmed a People magazine about the world's most beautiful people and took a candle-lit bath.

Did it work? I'm healthier, slimmer, more creative (one could also say a little more evil), and more relaxed than I've been in days. I think it's a good start to finding my happy.